I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I had to cum in my sink.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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