i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
