I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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