The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
