sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
