I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
