Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
