You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
