4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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