I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
