Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
