I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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