Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
