You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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