Sry I called you an 8
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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