spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
