I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
