I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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