suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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