Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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