If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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