I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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