....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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