Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
