I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
