I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
