mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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