u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
