I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
