I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
