Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
