Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
