tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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