Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
