He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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