her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
