Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
