my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
