There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
