TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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