Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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