Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the day after is always just damage control
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
