she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
