why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
