just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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