it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
