Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
