At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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