grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
