In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
