So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
