I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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